Really

6 months tomorrow. Wow I never thought it would go this far

its been a month and some days.

you cheated you lied, i love you.
i don't know who i'd be without you.
you're my soul, my air.
i need you in my life.

i never thought i'd be with a liar.

Its been a while.

I've been broken, noticing the truth. well i have noticed for a while already, but its hitting me. she hurt me, and i did some stuff that i now completely regret. i was sober for a long time, i thought i wouldn't have to result to it anymore, but i was wrong. she cheated, and lied. but i took her back. she has no idea how beautiful she is, it amazes me everyday. i wish she was here with ME. getting high made me free my mind, i wondered. i enjoy getting high. it was the only thing that helped me sleep those days. reminded me of my old ways, and how it used to be. it seems like a lifetime ago when i lived like there was no tomorrow. i wish i sometimes lived like that still. i miss the friends i had, and the things that came with it. one question that will forever bother me will be what will she be after i finally leave? it gets to me everytime. i've been though so much for this girl and its going to end anyways and she doesn't even know it.



fml.

16 days

And nothing has changed, you love me i love you.

Contemplating this.

Days and day have passed, this summer seems to be coming to an end.
I bought all i need for school, and now i'm counting the days til it begins.

ughhh junior year, the most important year of all.
shows if you graduate, and if you go to college.
I will also be attending college classes this fall
if i pass the college courses and go further
i will have saved 3,000 dollars of my parents money.

so much stress this year, i think sometimes if i might be able to do it.
cause i know myself i slack too much, and i only do so much just to get by.

i want to get on the ball, and actually try to make it into the a honor roll.
this year my GPA went down so much, i felt devastated.

it went from at 92 to an 89
i know its not a big difference
but it is to me. i slacked toooo much, and i hate it
i barely got accepted to the stupid THEA thing.

wish me luck on this, i need it terribly.
i don't want to disappoint anyone anymore.

it has been a while..

Everythings been alright, nothing new really. I'm not the same person that i was anymore. i'm broken, and weak. It's been 2 weeks since she said goodbye, even though i have her its not the same. We both know that we're stretching it, and its slowly tearing. I know i love her, but this distance is killing us both. I want her to be happy even if it doesn't include me. Days will go by, and my hold on her will go loose. she's everything i've ever wanted. but it won't happy. School starts in a month, its my junior year maybe this year is my breakthrough. Maybe this year i grow up. maybe i'll find someone for me. maybe maybe maybe.

i promised i wouldn't leave you.
but we both know it's going to happen.

So lovin

she said goodbye, she came back.
how much i adore her, but hurt so much.

she's everything i ever wanted.
but nothing i wished for.

she's hurt me sooooo many times
but i still take her back

shes a fun ride
but im ready to get off

2 weeks without you will hopefully show us the truth
have a good time in michigan

i love you